A little life update.. a bit of a rant..

Hello beauties.. I figured a little life update might be in order. As some of you may have noticed, I have gone from posting 2 videos per week to 1 video per week. My posting on my social media has also gone way down and I have gotten a few mails and messages asking about it, so I thought an update here on my blog may be the easiest way to share. There are several reasons too why my schedule and engagement has changed, The best reason is the addition of 2 new puppies in our house hold. Meet Larry and L-loyd.

Larry & L-loyd

They are miniature schnauzer and the cutest little things you've ever seen. They are now 5 months old so a bit bigger than the picture and bursting full of energy. They keep me on my toes for sure and with now 4 dog, 3 kids, 3 rabbits and a husband.. I'm NEVER bored lol. Our day starts at 5.30am and its full "GO" until 9pm when the house finally get a chance to settle down. But I wouldn't be without and hopefully we will get into a routine soon and normal life can resume. But its not just the babies keeping me on my toes.. here comes the rant...

Ever since Christmas I have been struggling with "motivation" to be creative and make videos. The reason for this really started due to a handful of nasty comments left on some of my videos. Now I have thick skin and I'm well aware of what I signed up for when I started this journey, but it still amazes me how some people are truly nothing more than as*holes. I'm sorry that is rude but its the truth! How some people feel that just because they can sit behind a screen, they can say what they want. To judge a person who goes out there and do the best they can to help others.. No.. I have no time for that and for people like that. I know I'm "getting old" and have been raised with values that may no longer exists but I'm sorry.. If one has nothing nice to say, one should simply keep quiet as well as stop typing! I constantly ask myself when did manners got lost in us raising our kids.. I don't understand and unfortunately.. I started questioning if i really want to do my job anymore.. Having to deal with people being nasty, not just to me but to others as well, really took the wind out of my sails. The constant being told that what I do isn't "to their liking" (to put it nicely), the constant (non of anyone's business) obsession with my weight and how can I loose weight as I can no longer represent them and how I should talk about my weight because I OWE them an explanation.. (WTF). Now logically I am WELL aware that I am DAMN good at what I do! I know very well that I help people every single day (as they tell me) and I know DAMN well that I owe NO ONE an explanation to why my weight has changed, but it all takes a mental toll. Working in social media means I put a piece of me out there every day. When i share my struggles and how I have learnt to love my body (after spending 25 years hating it) I give you a piece of ME! I share because I wish no one in the world would ever again hate themselves like i used to hate me. I have learned there is a MUCH better way, and I simply want to share that. I know what I signed up for, I am happy to pay the toll but not every day. And that is why I scaled down. I HAVE to protect MY mental health from the cruelty out there. I can pay so much toll but when it gets too much, I have to stop and that is what I did.

Moving forward from here I will stick to 1 video per week at least till after the summer. I have a small surgery to look forward too to hopefully fix my menopause issues and for those dying to know.. I am loosing weight because I am diabetic and I am learning to look after myself. I am taking 1 day at a time, working hard on becoming a less stressed and less of a work-a-holic, leaning to just go with the flow and enjoy each day doing things I enjoy. Like everything else, its a work in progress. And to answer those asking me to start vlogging, I'm sorry but no. I have no plans to start vlogging. My family (and I) are not interested in sharing our lives online and as I am first and foremost a mum, it would be close to impossible to vlog and not include them. I will stick to my fashion and styling and my personal experiences around my mental heath and leave it at that. Thank you very much for letting me rant. Love and hugs to all who needs them and remember to always be kind. No one ever knows what someone else is going through. Marleen x