“You look slim” is NOT a compliment!

It is NEVER a compliment to tell someone that their outfit makes them look slimmer!

It is point blank rude!

I do not mean to step on toes here and I know that most who ever say this to someone else mean it as the genuine compliment. Many will also tell me that they love when people compliment them about looking slimmer. But do you know what a "compliment" like that can do to a person who is self-conscious of their weight? It sends their head spinning and all they worry about is, does this mean they just look fat at all other times??

The repercussions of a "compliment" that has ANY bearing on weight or size is NEVER a compliment! Yes when someone says something like that, we smile and say "thank you" but trust me, on the inside we are crying.

Many of us who are a little bigger has been taught from we were small, that big is bad! we are fat and lazy and should just eat less and move more. Well in theory that is perfectly true! However, most of us who carry a bit of extra weight, do so because we have some unresolved trauma of some sort and instead of drinking, or taking drugs, or gambling, or what ever other addiction you can think off, we eat! Over eating, or emotional eating, is an addiction just like all the other addictions. It is not an easy addiction to beat, simply as we do HAVE to eat, meaning cold turkey is not an option, not being around food or having food in the house... again, not an option.. But what does that have to do with paying someone a compliment, i hear you ask.. When "you" tell some one that they "look so slim in that outfit", or "omg you've lost weight" you are hitting a very raw nerve for many of us. A nerve that hurts like hell when being hit. And we have no way of getting around the pain as you are simply being nice. Let me put it like this.. Imagine that your personal biggest "flaw" is that you have a big nose. You and I bump into each other and the first thing is say is "omg did you get your nose done?" and you know rightly you didn't.. First time you gently laugh and say something like "ohh i wish lol" and laugh it off.. but on the inside I'm sure you would ask yourself "why did she say that, its clear i didn't get my nose done".. Now imagine if i said something about your nose every. single. time. i see you.

You wouldn't feel like I was paying you a compliment would you?? I don't think so.. And honestly, when "you" tell me I look slim or have i lost weight, "you" are doing the same to me!

Weight or weight related, should NEVER be mentioned in a conversation unless a person bring the subject up about themselves and wish to talk about themselves. I know the compliment was meant well but please refrain from mentioning anyone's weight or size or looking slim or anything else along the lines. It hurts when you do and I'm very sorry to say, you aren't complimenting me, you are insulting me! Marleen x